I never intended to go this long without blogging, but I had no idea how much busier it would be having three kiddos. Then throw in our big move this year and all of the traveling we've done and boom this year is almost over....how did that happen? How is Brixton almost a year old? I look back and ask myself, "Did I enjoy every moment of his first year?", "Did I soak it all in?" It makes me sad to think that somedays I didn't enjoy his little moments. Somedays I didn't enjoy the moments of my other children either. Somedays I was just in moments of survival and trying to keep my head above water. While I wouldn't change a single thing about my life, this year has truly been one of the toughest for me. I don't know exactly why, maybe I am in a state of reformation, maybe I haven't stepped back and truly looked at how blessed I am. I am surrounded by love and support, but yet sometimes I feel so alone. It's a hard thing to explain to people, but recently I read something about motherhood feeling so lonely. I couldn't agree more, but then there are those moments where your children do something that amazes you and you think to yourself, I created that sweet soul and they are who they are because of me.
Motherhood is the most amazing thing ever, but also one of the most challenging too. There are days you second guess yourself wondering if you're doing it right, there are days you cry, there are days you smile, there are days you love and days you wish you could do all over again. There are times you feel like all you are is a mother and not a wife or even a woman, you wish someone would tell you good job or you look pretty today, but instead you get a drawing of yourself from your seven year old and you think, she thinks I am beautiful and being a mother is ENOUGH. You think this is not MY time, because you don't get to work out or read a book or simply go to the bathroom by yourself, but it is, it is YOUR time to simply be a MOTHER....and that will always be ENOUGH!!! Thats why in a way of sorts, life is always beautiful, no matter how crazy it gets...hence the blog name....A Crazy Beautiful!